This post is going to have negativity oozing out of it. Read at your own risk.
I'm struggling. To be on track, to keep moving forward. To be frank I feel like I'm alone on this journey. I don't know who to turn to, who to ask for directions when I'm lost. Everytime I did get lost, I felt so upset, so disappointed with myself, like what happened today.
Allah, this is tiring.
You thought you have find your way, that you are moving forward, only to find out you're somehow back to where you originally started. Back to square one. Failure sucks.
I did not expect perfection, or even huge improvements. Never did. What I aimed for was perhaps small improvements - baby steps, as they say. To achieve that is one thing, but to maintain it or istiqamah; Allah, I need all the help I can get.
I hate expectations because I hate letting people down. I really really really hate it when I did not perform up to par. It's hard as I'm starting to fall in love - and letting loved ones down, especially Him, The Almighty is the last thing I need.
Allah, I only have You.
