To my 1/9

J, my dearest buddy,
I love you. We all do.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
we are all by your side.


This post has been edited by the author since she's feeling less agitated and much calmer right now. Everything's going to be alright for J. :)

Quit asking me why.

Event: Majlis Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2008.
Date/Time : October 24, 8.30 p.m.
Venue: Penang. Dad's office.

MK : "Ni anak En. Awis kan?"
i smiled politely, nodding.
MK: "Awatnya dok jauh sini, dok la depan sana tu."
me: "Eh takpe lah makcik, sini dekat dengan rumah ni haa, senang nak basuh tangan, pi toilet. "
I gave the same excuse as what Ayahcik used just a little while ago when a pakcik asked him why all of us sat here, under the furthest tent from the stage, away from emak and ayah.
MK: " Lah..takpa lah kalau macam tu. Hang ni study lagi ka?"
i nodded, for the second time. Always with a smile.
MK: "Kat mana?"
me: " Kat k.l, bukit jalil..universiti per- "
She cut me off mid-sentence.
MK: " Ambik apa? Farmasi kan."
i nodded. third time. i was thinking of telling her which university i'm at (it is common for people to think of sekolah sukan whenever bukit jalil is mentioned, so i don't want to give them the wrong impression-i'm far from athletic), but now i don't think it's necessary. She already knew, i guessed, and she's just asking out of ...hmm...courtesy to start a conversation?
MK: " Ada kawan makcik anak dia kat universiti tu. Ambik medic. Huda. Hang kenal tak? Mak dia kawan baik makcik tu."
Huh. How am i supposed to know. A senior, maybe. Huda..huda...hmmm...
MK: " Nama dia Huda. Ala muka dia ada macam arab arab sket.."
me: "Owhhhh.....Kenal kenal! Kat intec dulu pon saya sama dengan Huda."
How could i forget someone from my own batch. Silly me.
MK: " Oh, awat hang tak ambik medic?"

Ahhh. The question. The FAQ. What should i say...hmm...
Because i didn't get straight A1? No, that's not it. I crossed out medicine long before the SPM result was out. Besides, it's still possible with a couple of A2.
Afraid of blood? Haha. That will be a direct lie.
Probably because..i don't like hospital? True, but not concrete enough. Subsequent questions will arise from this type of answer (e.g: don't pharmacists work in hospital?), and i'd like to avoid further enquiries.
Urrggghhh. Just come out with something. Quick.

me: " Susah kot nan-"
She cut me off mid-sentence, again.
MK: " Ehh, Huda tu boleh ja. Takdalah susah mana makcik tengok. Makcik rasa-"
I stopped listening to her babblings right there.
I know. I know I can do it if i want to. But i prefer to live an easy life, where i have the time to lie down, watch the clouds and smell the flowers. Studying medicine is hard (but hey, pharmacy is just as difficult), but i know i can manage. The life of a doctor is the turnoff - too busy for a lazy bum like myself.
me: "Jadi doktor busy-"
This time, i stopped on my own. MK had disappeared. I think she either went to talk to my uncle, or left the table in search of ice-creams for my sis. The conversation ended there.

Nobody will ask an architect why they don't go and choose engineering instead. I wonder why.

Ikan bilis di bukit.

Adikku memang kelakar. He doesn't even know what ikan bilis is in English. I kept telling him "it's anchovy...anchovy!" but he just cant register it in his mind. He mixes up anchovy with centipede. How is that possible? How can anyone mistake an ikan bilis for a lipan?
Anyway, yesterday all of us went to Bukit Larut for the usual 6km walk (3km naik, 3km turun) which is becoming a weekly event for the family.
On the way down the hill he spotted a giant anchovy!
Hahahaha.

This was the creature in discussion.

"Besar btol ikan bilis ko nih mad," sarcasm is one of the things i'm good at.

"Yela yela. Centipede!!" there's no point of arguing.

My mom started to worry because amad was going to touch the poisonous arthropod he called anchovy.

"Amad, jangan pegang!!" she shouted from afar.

But too late. His hand was already at the surface of the creature's exoskeleton and in a flash.........

The lipan curled! But wait, lipan doesn't curl.

So in the end both of us were wrong. It was neither anchovy nor centipede...it was a millipede!

Ayah

Today's the day my dad turns 54.




Love you, ayah.

reviving an old hobby

These are the results of the enormous amount of free time i'm having right now.

I know, it sucks. but hey, i havent been drawing since....form 3 i think, so be reasonable. i just drew these yesterday to distract me from sticking to the lappy 24/7. and it didnt really work. i finished sketching in an hour or so (in between tv watching) and then i was back online. gotta find something else to do.

It's quite obvious i dont like colouring, especially using colour pencils. it's tiring and so the background's a disaster! cover of the twilight novel.

This is still not finish actually, but any idea who this guy is? sape tau dia terer!

Yuna

ok here's the story.
i was surfing the net, with no motive at all, walking up and down the aisle of the IT world for like, half an hour and suddenly...... there she was! Yuna. i stumbled across this local indie band (i'm not sure if yuna's the name of the band or the girl), heard the rocket song, and almost instantly fall in love with them! For a local indie group, i think they are somewhat different and that yuna girl's voice is effing good!
i am a bit ketinggalan zaman actually, because they are quite famous already. but for those who know me, this isn't much of a surprise, since i'm not exactly the type that follows the current music trend. i'm always like, "leona who?" "mawar khayal what???"
This Yuna girl is from kuantan, studying law, plays guitar, piano and wears a tudung. interesting ait?

anyway, you should listen to rocket a.k.a almost famous, deeper conversation and cinta sempurna. those are my fav. :)

Datuk-datuk sekalian~

Datuk Shah Rukh Khan????
owh come on...get real la..what did SRK ever do to Malaysia's advantage? this is absurd! if not totally hilarious . what a stupid joke.
Sure, some of his movies were filmed in Malaysia, help to promote our place and all, still... a Datukship?? if that's the case, i think all the film's production crews deserve the title - the director, producer, make-up artists and even the lamp guy. SRK is just an actor, acting as directed. i bet he did not even know where Malacca is. As what my mom had said yesterday, "Kerajaan Melaka minat sgt kat Shah Rukh Khan la tu. " Hahaha. Malaysia's becoming funnier each day.

if u havent got a clue of what im babbling about, visit
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/malaysia/10383?task=view

i need more ice!

i need to be in north pole. chewing icebergs just to cool down. breathe asma, breathe. relax.
why am i being such a fuss over something so...insignificant? i shouldn't act like this. i should be more rational. hmmmmhh *inhale* haaaaaaaaaahhhhh *exhale*
it's hard to be mad at someone who are so close to u. yet it is exactly the reason why u are being so sensitive, pathetic and so annoyed by the small matter. if it's about someone else, someone u dont really care about, well, u wont care. u wont be angry at all. u are angry because that particular person, the one who knows u inside out, upside down, or whatever, acted the opposite - mcm tak pernah kenal! urghhhhh. i tot writing this down will help, not making it worse!
sudahla. org tu taktau pon ko marah kat dia. just let it go. maybe u tot wrong. maybe that person doesnt know u that well. u are good at ignoring things. forget. and put out the fire. it's better that way.

okay.

fire gone, ice no longer needed.

i need ice.

i am currently pissed off.

over something which may be trivial to others, yet pretty significant to my impatient self.

am i not trustworthy enough?!!

have i ever EVER betray you?

urrghh please.

i've had enough.

i'm gonna be quiet and ignore it.

as you wish.

pharmacist..really??

fever. flu. exam. great. just great.
i had a fever (and of course, flu) right after my sis's engagement day, which means right before the end of sem exam. can u imagine? and at that time i still had tons and tons and TONS to read. usually i will just ignore the fever and try to sleep out of it. dont even bother to take the panadol. but this time i had to do something. i cant possibly take the exam with running nose and spinning head! no way!
so, as a normal person would, i took the pills for the cold. ainur offered hers. i figured i dont really need panadols since my temperature was not that high and the fever didnt really bother me. the real problem was the flu. but here's the thing - i have never been good at swallowing tablets and pills. or capsules. and the tablets ainur gave me was..huge! oh well, huge enough for me la. this was the tablet, in comparison with orange skittles. i can never ever swallow pills of this size!

Dont get me wrong, saya tak takut makan ubat la! it's not that im afraid, it's just that i cant! tak reti. my esophagous has its own reflex system that when it comes to medicines, it'll automatically constrict! the worst part was, when i read the tablets' info inside the box, i found this -
Patients who have a history of difficulty in swallowing tablets or who have known upper gastrointestinal narrowing or abnormal esophageal peristalsis should not use this product (see PRECAUTIONS and ADVERSE REACTIONS).

again, just great. by then i was actually afraid to take the tablet. but i dont have any other option. the running nose really bugged me. imagine reading physiology with watery eyes, fluid dripping from your nose and heaps of tissues at the side. not really the best condition to study, ait? and this is physiology im talking about. not something u can memorize after u read once. unless u are a genius, or gifted, which is definitely NOT me. so as ainur suggested, to increase the probability of that freaking tablet to get into my stomach, i cut it into half.

there u have it. two skittles.

after the reduction in size, i was much more confident that i'll survive so i gave it a go. one half, water, gulp. okay, that was not so difficult. another half, water, gulp. voila! i did it! i'm still alive! yaaaaaayyyy!!! *applause*
My parents and siblings are very much aware of this embarassing fact of mine, and they often wonder, " ni yang nak jadi pharmacist ni? telan ubat pon macam nak mati dah." urgghh. biarla.
then amad menyampuk, "sebab tu la die nak jadi pharmacist. nak buat ubat sume kecik2." good point. perhaps i'll work on that when i become one.