Looking out

 You admire the stars you see, but the vast sky has so many things hidden still.

Bogoshipo

Allahumma ballighna Ramadhan.


I'm such in a good mood right now simply because Ramadhan is finally here! I don't want to be cliché but I really have been looking forward to this month especially because I've been distracted by a couple of issues lately.

I'm refocusing on my priorities. On what matters most. I'm easily distracted, so I hope I can get back on track this Ramadhan. Hait! Let's do this!

Of course it's better to be istiqamah when doing good deeds, rather than seasonal. But sometimes we need that accelerator, that enzyme, that extra push to do more. Especially when you are lazy Smak.


:)

To improve, God willing.  

Chillax~

"Chill la. If it is meant to be, it will be. Have faith in His plans."

That was one of my tweets from last month. Regarding what, you may ask. It is obvious, isn't it? Jodoh.

Being more than a quarter of century old now, I've noticed that this has become the most popular topic in my circle of friends. Especially women. 

Jodoh.

Although I sometimes do join the worry wagon just to have some fun, my usual reply would be;

"Kalau ada jodoh, ada lah."

Isn't every single thing we do, everything about us, has been destined from the very moment we were in our mothers' womb? So why the worry? Why, if I may ask, that we stressed ourselves over these matters as if we have the power to determine how things go. 

Admittedly, it is a pretty difficult concept to grasp, this destiny (read: takdir, qada qadar) thing. If I were to elaborate on this, I would probably run out of words (due to my limited vocab, haha). So I won't. This is perhaps for another day. 

I actually just want to share this article on being single that I think makes good sense:

http://www.saudilife.net/marriage/35923-while-you-are-single

Too often we hear singles saying ‘But I want to complete half of my deen!’ and I am always tempted to ask, ‘In what state is the other half?’

Marriage isn't everything.

Kerana aku selalu lupa #15

Say, "Not equal are the evil and the good, although the abundance of evil might impress you." So fear Allah , O you of understanding, that you may be successful.


Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): "Tidak sama yang buruk dengan yang baik, walaupun banyaknya yang buruk itu menarik hatimu. Oleh itu bertaqwalah kepada Allah wahai orang-orang yang berakal fikiran, supaya kamu berjaya.

Geez, why so difficult?
Best of luck dear self.

Trouble trouble trouble~

Never have a problem kept me awake like this. It's like I'm having my final paper tomorrow. Maybe worse. I just can't sleep. Even when I am, I'm awake. Doesn't make sense? Yeah.

I can't wait to go to work because it will make me forget. At least for a moment. I know I have to deal with this sooner or later.

May Allah show me the way. I can only depend on Him.

Allah knows best.

How to retire rich

I just want to jot down some random thoughts.

Watched the news on tv. Someone named Tan Sri Aishah Ghani, who was actually quite an important person in UMNO just passed away. I did not know who she was till just now. Some of the ministers and evenTun were talking on how great of a loss to the political world now that she's gone. Which got me thinking;

Betullah kata pepatah, "Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan nama." Nama. Or deeds. The significance of your existence.. 

• What do I want to be remembered of?

I came across this facebook status, "You are what you do day in day out, what you do once in a while is not you." How true. How very true.

• So, what am I? What have I been doing everyday? 

Admittedly, my daily routines were very mundane. Nothing of great significance, except maybe beneficial only for myself. How trivial. Sigh. 

Anyway, the point of this whole post is not about getting recognitions from other people even after your death, no. Never do things for other people. Wait, this may came across as selfish pulak. What I mean is we should always do things for Allah. Purify our intentions. Which may sound easy, but I find it quite difficult. I am still trying.

From one of Prof Dr Muhaya's tweets today: "Bila kita di kubor yang tinggal hanya amalan. Jom cari pencen kubor iaitu anak yang soleh, ilmu bermanafaat, dan sedekah jariah"

• Anak yang soleh/solehah. One day, if Allah wills. 
• Ilmu yang bermanfaat. This. I don't really like teaching. I often find it difficult to convey what I have in mind to others, and this post is one good example. It's all over the place.
• Sedekah jariah. 

I have issues with delivering messages...I probably will write about this when I have the mood.

This blog has become so boring, I think it's because I'm treating it more like my journal (because I don't have one). But wth, I originally intend to write for myself anyway. However I was a bit surprised when a colleague mentioned that he read my blog. He complained that my writing was tahapahapaentah. See. I am really bad at this.

Oh well.

Atuk (Part 2)

Baru sahaja tahun lepas Tok Wan ku pergi meninggalkan kami. Aku juga yang ada pada waktu itu. Aku antara yang menjadi saksi. Malah turut mengesahkan sewaktu di rumah kerana aku kononnya kerja bidang kesihatan, lebih berpengetahuan. Nak tahu perkara paling aku tak suka? Inilah. Menghadapi saat seperti ini. Kini giliran Atuk pula. 

Peristiwa hari itu. Ayah bawa kereta. Emak di depan. Aku memangku Atuk di belakang. Aku seakan tidak mahu cerita tentang ini kerana semakin aku menaip semakin mataku kabur. Tapi memori ini berharga. Nafas Atuk semakin kencang, maka Ayah mengajar Atuk mengucap syahadah. Alhamdulillah, Atuk mengucap syahadah walau tercungap-cungap. Deras. Tetapi beberapa minit sebelum sampai di hospital, aku perasan Atuk tidak lagi tercungap. Hanya dadanya bergerak perlahan.

"Emak.." perlahan aku memanggil Emak. Bimbang. Aku menyedapkan hati, mungkin Atuk pengsan kerana terlalu penat. Seperti yang pernah terjadi sebelum ini. Emak pesan supaya aku mengajar Atuk mengucap syahadah.

"Lailahaillah pon cukup," kata Ayah yang semakin laju memandu.

Lalu kalimah itulah yang aku bisik berulang-ulang kali ke telinga Atuk. Sambil itu aku perhatikan gerak dadanya. Sampai satu masa, tiada lagi pergerakan yang aku lihat. Aku panik. Aku panggil Atuk berkali-kali. Aku pegang mukanya. Aku rasa nadinya. Di tangan. Di leher. Aku letakkan jari di hidungnya untuk merasa nafas. Aku letakkan telinga di dadanya untuk sebarang bunyi degupan. Sampai saat ini aku tidak tertahan lagi. Terus menggeletar suaraku memanggil Emak.

Sampai kami di hospital. Doktor membuat pengesahan.

Sesungguhnya kita milik Allah dan kepadaNya lah kita kembali.

 Ya Allah, ampunilah dia, kasihilah dia, maafkanlah dia, muliakanlah tempatnya, luaskanlah tempat masuknya, mandikanlah dia dengan air, salju dan embun. Sucikanlah dia dari segala kesalahan sebagaimana pakaian disucikan dari najis. Gantikan untuknya rumah yang lebih baik dari rumahnya, gantikan untuknya keluarga yang lebih baik dari keluarganya, gantikan untuknya isteri (pasangan) yang lebih baik dari pasangannya. Masukkanlah ke dalam surga dan lindungilah dia dari azab kubur dan azab neraka.

Al-fatihah dan doa untuk arwah Atuk.

Kata orang alah bisa tegal biasa.

Aku takut kehilangan rasa.