Kerana aku selalu lupa #13

One fine day,

I fell in love.

I was happy.

Until,

I found out everything about that love is a lie. 

Every.

Single.

Thing. 

Now that I know the truth, 

I have to let go. 

But,

letting go is never easy.

I'm struggling.

I'm haunted by memories.

I want to let go. 

I need something better. 

I need something real.

I have to fall hard for The Real Love.

Hard enough that I can let go.

God willing. 

"So in letting go, the answer lies in love. Fall in love. Fall in love with something greater. Fall in love with the Real thing. See the Mansion. Only then, will we stop playing in the dollhouse."  - Falling in Love with The Real Thing, Yasmin Mogahed.

Click on the quote. It describes exactly the struggle I'm currently facing. I just had to share.

TDM recap

This is going to be another boring, work-related type of post. Read at your own risk. :P

TDM = Therapeutic Drug Monitoring.

To put it simply, TDM is the monitoring of drug levels in the bloodstream so that it is maintained at the effective concentration - neither subtherapeutic nor toxic. If you want to know more click here.

Pharmacokinetics knowledge is thus very, VERY important in TDM, which is the reason why I was so nervous when I first started TDM attachment at Hospital Seberang Jaya (HSJ). HBM does not have a TDM department, no surprise there, so I have to go all the way to HSJ from BM which takes around 30 minutes in the morning due to bad traffic. I'm really, really bad at pharmacokinetics back in university, so I was nervous of the 4 weeks attachment.

Surprise, surprise, it was not as difficult as I thought! The calculations are (ehem) pretty simple once you understand them. I guess I never really bothered to seriously study them before, which is why I was really "blur" with all those calculations. It was a miracle that I passed the degree exam, Alhamdulillah. The TDM boss in HSJ is nice. Thanks to her, I will consider to apply for TDM after completing my PRP year.

To fellow PRPs who have yet to attach for TDM, do study the calculations for aminoglycosides, vancomycin, digoxin, theophylline and phenytoin as these were among the most common drugs monitored. Note: renal adjustment, correction for hypoalbuminaemia...anddd who am I kidding? You guys are way better at pharmacokinetics than I am. Haha. TDM is not all about the levels and calculations though. It is better if you have had your clinical attachment beforehand since you will then be more familiar with patient's condition when monitoring. I had a difficult time when monitoring patients' conditions with the little clinical experience that I have. Note: indications and dosing regime for antibiotics, drug interactions which may affect the measured levels, signs and symptoms of toxicity...etc.

I will end this post with a quote from my TDM boss,

"Treat the patients, not the levels!" - Ms Ooi

Told you this is boring.  

Macam ombak.

Turun.

Naik.

Turun.

Naik.

Turun.

Naik.

Turun....

Apa yang macam ombak?

Imanku.

:( 

Smile

Just because this blog is eerily empty & boring these days.

I decided to put up a smile.

:)

Do you smile back?

Please do, because you look so much better when you smile.

Like, seriously.

Just in case you don't know how, here are the steps on how to smile.

I am random.

Bestie Bernikah

Yet again. This time it was J's. My feelings were all mixed up on her big day. I was excited since it was my first time being involved in a friend's wedding from the night before until the akad nikah but at the same time I was sad, because I know things would be different from then, whether we like it or not. She is not just a regular friend, we've known each other for more than a decade. She is like a sister (or even a mother, lol) to me. We are both very different people. She's a bit emotional, you see, while I'm..err, a bit lacking on that side. Which is probably why we go well together. She's the friend my boyfriend would be jealous of.

Speaking of jealousy, Mr TD once said that the way I talk with her is different from when I speak to others. Different, how? Now that, you have to ask Mr TD, for all I know, there's no difference whatsoever. I admit I am sometimes jealous of her, though - one of the reason is because she is beautiful and looked even more so on her wedding day. I wonder if I'd look as pretty on my big day. How silly, I know. Her personality is even more enviable. Caring, daring, charming - to sum up, complete opposite of yours truly. Inferiority complex sucks.

Oh this post is not about me, haha, got a bit sidetracked over there.

Anyhoo, congrats to my dear friend J and hubby F!

J, jangan emo-emo sangat dah. Tak nak ikut drama Melayu. Haha. I'm sure you'll be a good wife to F, the way both of you looked at each other tells it all. ;P
To Mr F, banyaklah bersabar dengan J. You are so lucky to have her. Semoga penyatuan anda diberkati Allah & semoga berlanjutan sampai ke syurga.

Come to think of it, I think Mr TD is a bit similar to J on the emotional part. LOL. (he's so going to deny this)

Fun fact: Mr F was born on the same day as Mr TD! What a sweet coincidence.

Work update #4

"You want to treat the patient is it?!!"

Yes, those are the exact words I got from a doctor in OPD. How very annoying. To our fellow doctors, pharmacists are bad news. I understand where that came from since when we call the doctors, it is either because of the need to clarify something or if there is something wrong with the Rx or when the medicines they prescribed are not in stock (which is the most annoying case). 

I totally understand that they are busy and that their work can be a little stressful, but please, have manners. Don't just let out your frustration to us the diligent pharmacists who only wants to work together with you, as professionals in one healthcare team, for the sake of the patients. FYI, it is really a nuisance for us when we have to call you. We are as busy as you are, having the same amount of patients to attend to (perhaps even more, considering those with repeat Rx) and patient's waiting time to keep an eye on. We don't expect you to entertain us like, I don't know, a PR guy? but please don't be rude. 

Be the professional you ought to be.

And I have to be more patient.  

Note to self.

Don't be intellectually lazy.

Educate yourself.