Doctor who?

This article makes me want to nag a bit about work. Or more specifically, about the people I work with.

FYI, I used to be among those typical people who really look up to doctors. I think doctors are the smartest people around, trustworthy, honourable and kind. Well, they save lives everyday! What kind souls. As always, I couldn't be more wrong. Doctors are just human. Ordinary people, who sometimes succumb to temptations and become slaves to the world. I can testify to this. I've seen quite a number of doctors with attitudes that are not only annoying but to the point where their behaviours disappoint me. Morality and ethics..out of the window. Sigh. 

Of course, this may be the case for only a select few. The rotten eggs. Don't get me wrong, fellow doctors, my intention is never to dishonour your profession. I am simply letting out my frustration, coming to terms with the fact that I had been wrong all these years - just like those orang putih kids when they found out Santa don't exist. Ouch.

I have a lot of doctor friends, and alhamdulillah they are brilliant - both as doctors and friends. I am not being biased, my circle of friends are truly amazing. Friendship is perhaps the only thing I've been so picky at (unintentionally), since I always managed to surround myself with good company. From what I see, the kind of people who is great as a person will most likely be great at their job too. So in the end it comes down to individual's core values. 

However, although I've only worked as part of the healthcare team for 2 years, I've witnessed a number of incidents that got me so disappointed I have now lost faith in them doctors. I don't trust them (completely) anymore. I know people make mistakes, to err is human, but sometimes the mistake is super duper silly that I began to wonder wth is the doctor thinking when treating the patient? I know it is not my place to question other people's job, that I should just focus on improving my own work, but seriously, we are talking about lives here - human lives. 

I won't be giving out specific examples, too lazy to write and you may not understand it anyway, suffice to say I now realised how crucial a pharmacist's job is. Pharmacists are the last line of defense before medications/treatment reach the patients. However this post is not to let the world know how we are doing our job, I only write to state my agreement with Stonecold Steve Austin's DTA - Don't Trust Anybody. Not even doctors. 

Rather than the clinical judgement, it's some of the doctors' ethics that are most appalling. I admit I am not exactly 'worker of the year', but some of their working attitudes had really opened my eyes. exposing me to the diversity of human in this world. Kepelbagaian spesies dengan perangai yang berbeza-beza. Homosapiens are such a wonder.

I think I should stop here. I didn't expect I can nag this long. To clear out some points, I only talk about doctors here because it was my fault that I think so highly of them till I got this frustrated. The truth is, this is an issue of every profession (pharmacist included), every single job out there. To sum up, just DTA. Do study, don't just blindly trust. 

Unless the doctor is the handsome McDreamy. 

You can totally trust him. Worth the risk. Lol.

Hello Scotland

Because  it changed me.

Better man

I came across this ayat not long ago;

“Perempuan yang jahat untuk lelaki yang jahat dan lelaki yang jahat untuk perempuan yang jahat, perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik dan lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik.” (24:26)

The ayat is quite familiar, but I never pay serious attention to it until just recently.

Lelaki yang jahat untuk perempuan yang jahat. 
I suddenly began to worry because I don't want to end up with someone as jahat as me. Only I know how bad I am and have been, so yes, save your sweet talks, lets be real. Seriously, I've been thinking of how I can be exempted from this. How can I save myself from getting someone who is equally as bad, if not more than myself.

Then it came to me, the answer is really simple.

Lelaki baik untuk perempuan baik. 
I have to better myself. Nak yang baik jadilah yang baik. If you want the best then be the best. Simple logic.

However then I wonder, if it's true that good men are for good women, why was Asiah destined with Firaun? Hmm. This is a hard one.

I guess it comes down to the very definition of good, or evil, for that matter. Often the perception of these matters are tailored to our individual preference, sedangkan ianya rahsia Allah.

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah Mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui”. 2:216

Dengar Robbie Williams' Better Man mesti teringat bestie J.

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

2014

My wish for 2014 is simply...

To fall in love.

To fall so hard till I can never get out of it. 

Head over heels. 

Total surrender.

To fall completely, utterly in love, with...

The One and Only God, Allah. 

With Islam.

May He ease the way.

Menjaga hati

Kalau nak tahu, bila bayangkan hati aku, aku selalu bayangkan macam bulan. Bukan, bukan bulan berseri cerah gemilang terbilang yang pungguk rindukan tu. Ini bulan yang berdebu, berlubang, berkawah-kawah dan yang paling penting, bulan yang bulat. Hati sebenarnya antara organ terbesar dalam badan kita. Bebel info fisiologi sikit boleh kan? Selalu orang sebut hati padahal nak maksudkan jantung. Ok takpe kita ikut pemahaman orang ramai. 

Kenapa bulan? Kenapa bulat? Kenapa bukan heart-shaped macam selalu orang lukis setiap kali bagi kad atau sebelah tandatangan konon comel tu? 

Sebab hati aku selalu berbolak balik. 

Penat bila ada hati macam ni. Sentiasa goyang. Kena angin sikit, terus goyah. Golek. Golek sikit patah balik takpe jugak. Takut kalau golek jauh, dan sampai tempat yang tak sepatutnya. Hujung dunia misalnya. Tepi tebing. Bila-bila masa sahaja boleh jatuh. Hai hati yang bulat. 

Wahai hati, anda kan jenis memilih, jadi bila anda buat keputusan untuk jatuh, tolong pilih tempat yang terbaik. Sebab kadang-kadang dah jatuh susah nak bangun balik. Anda pulak keras macam batu. Jatuh tempat keras, boleh pecah seribu. Tapi mujur sel hati boleh tumbuh balik (fisiologi). Sedikit harapan di situ.

Berdebu.

Berlubang-lubang.

Penuh titik hitam.

Kotor.

Jeles dengan sesetengah orang, Hati mereka suci. Bila hati suci, pandangan pon ikut sama bersih. Hidup gembira. Aku tengah berusaha bersihkan hati kotor ni. Penat, kadang-kadang dah sapu, lepas tu main debu lagi. Sapu, kotor balik. Tapi dengan izinNya, aku tak boleh berhenti mencuba. Dia benci orang yang putus asa. Aku nak masuk golongan yang Dia cinta, bukan yang dibenci.

Doakan hati yang bulat ini.
Semoga bulat bulan setia pada buminya, bukan bulat bergolek sini sana.
Semoga bersinar bagai purnama, tak nampak lagi kawah debunya.

Aku dah buat blog ni macam diari. Sigh. 

Azam? (not a person)

It is not often that I suddenly want to do something I usually am reluctant to do (e.g. the marathon I joined in Oct-more on this when I have the mood), so I have to jot this down. You've got to have sort of like a 'black & white' on stuff like this so people can criticize you later if you don't live up to the things you said you'd do. Take it as a motivation. Oh but I don't really care what people say so it won't be as effective on me..hmm..

Anywayyyy...here's a list of things I want to do (am not going to call it resolutions because it will look more serious that way..okay, I admit, I hate expectations):

1. Cook more. Surprised? The truth is, I just read a cooking blog and all of the menu looks so pretty and delicious, I want to eat them so bad that I may have to make them myself. Besides, I almost never touched the frying pan ever since I moved back in with Emak (6 months ago). She did all the cooking, obviously. In my (almost) 26 years of life, I have only baked two or three times, so I think I should probably try to bake more...I don't fancy baking though...but the cakes are so tempting...perhaps a cake that needs no baking? Haha. We shall see how this will turn out. 

2. Read more. I initially wanted to write 'study more' but it sounds too heavy, and a bit limited. I want to improve my clinical and pharmaceutical knowledge, as pledged to in our Code of Conduct for pharmacists (refer chapter 1.7 Continuing Education). Bahahaha. Okay, seriously. Anyone can dispense drugs. What's so hard about handing out meds? There is a reason why a pharmacy is no longer called apothecary/dispensary and that pharmacists are now referred to as the drug experts. Therefore I have to work hard to live up to the title (konon). Dahlah I have a memory of a goldfish. But lets not be whiny. I am glad that my job requires me to learn.

However, as much as I admire my good intention to study for the sake of the profession, most of my reading materials are always unrelated to my job/studies/textbooks. I tend to read those that I am not required to. I just bought a book on relativity. Emak komen dulu masa sekolah tak nak pulak belajar fizik sekarang baru sibuk. Haha. Lately, though, I noticed I don't read as often as I used to. Work/sleep/social media is taking over my used-to-be favourite pastime activity. I think I have to start reading again. I feel like I'm becoming more stupid these days.

3. Less social media. I have a love-hate relationship with social medias. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. I'm still undecided, but I have a feeling 'hate' is going to win the battle. This remains to be seen. 

This is it.  For now. I will update the list if I suddenly have this random reflection moment like today. Till then!

Hanoi, when September ends

A lot has happened since my last post.

I had a quick trip to Hanoi, Vietnam. It was awesome. It was Amy's plan, and we sort of just went with it. Just a short getaway cum bachelorette's trip for Sumir who's going to be married this coming Dec. Oh due to an unavoidable circumstance, I won't be able to make it to her wedding. Or Suz's. Yes they share the same wedding date. Truly best friends. It is so unfortunate that I can't go to both. Sorry buddies!

We took early morning flight to Hanoi. After 3-hour flight we arrived at the international airport. One of our first crisis was when we couldn't find the driver who was supposed to pick us up and bring us to the hotel. The fact that we can only contact our agent, Luan (Amy's couchsurfer buddy), through facebook was not really helpful either. Luckily though, we bumped into the driver at the other exit.

Apart from those working in tourism business (tour guides, hotel staffs), Vietnamese in Hanoi do not speak much English. However since Luan pretty much had everything arranged for us, the whole trip went quite well. That's the big advantage of travelling with agents. You get to not think. Just chill. Less adventurous, though. I've had my fair share of planning and travelling on my own as well as with travel agents. I couldn't decide on which one is better, it really depends on what you want from the trips.

Back to Hanoi, I'll just let the pictures do most of the talking.

Hanoi's architecture is unique, every bulding looks about the same especially in the Old Quarter.

The infamous Hanoi traffic. Seriously, you've got to have good tolerance to noise, and traffic in general, to live in the city. Every now and then you'll hear horns because they use it just to say, like, "Hey, I'm here on your left, try not to hit me." or "Hey, it's my turn to move." The good thing is since everyone does not seem to follow any of the road rules, they have to drive slowly and be considerate of other vehicles. Speaking from experience, do bear in mind that traffic lights were only applicable to cars, not motorcyclists.

 I don't fancy the city. So let's just head straight to Halong Bay, shall we. We took the cruise which stopped at Dau Go Cave. The stalactites and stalagmites were amazing. Subhanallah. But I hate the colourful lights. They make the whole thing looked fake. Like it was man-made. They even installed a small water fountain near to what's supposed to be Romeo & Juliet's-shaped stalactites. Too touristy already. I'm all into au naturale. 

Halong Bay, as expected, was breathtaking. Fell in love with Mother Nature yet again. Allah is Great.  

Not to forget, we finally get to have the famous Vietnam filter coffee. A must try! 

One of the best parts of our trip was the Cat Ba Island. We spent one night at the Cat Ba Beach Resort, which has just been opened in May so everything is new. Better yet, the resort has its own private beach.

At the end of our trip, Amy finally got her wish granted. She originally wanted to go to Hanoi after seeing a photo of Halong Bay with this beautiful classic tongkang in it. So there you go.