That could have been me.

I'm not that frequent of a flyer, but I had a flight scheduled right after the day MH370 went missing. So you can imagine the thoughts that went through my mind as I boarded my plane. I looked down over the South China Sea as we flew, the first place where they conducted the MH370's search and rescue. I wondered how it would feel like if I was on that unfortunate flight. How would I react? I imagined the plane plummeting at full speed into the vast ocean. What can we do then?

Nothing. Simply nothing. Astaghfirullahalazim, how helpless we are. So small, so powerless, so vulnerable. Mere human. Yet we acted like we own the world.

I'm not scared of flying, not even after the unfortunate MH370 incident. I'm a firm believer of destiny -  "What was meant for you, will never missed you. What misses you, was never meant for you."  However, I'm still scared of death. I'm not ready to leave this world in my current state. I don't know if one can ever be ready for death, but I pray a lot for a beautiful ending - husnul khatimah. I want to meet Him in the best state I can be. Allah, please. 

Apart from the missing flight, I was very much bothered by the recent news of deaths from drug overdose at a music festival. 6 deaths, 4 in critical state. What a tragedy. Sad, scary and frustrating all at the same time. 

I won't pretend to be an angel. This is not something I'm proud of but I've been to concerts a couple of times during my 'carefree' years. So I get it - I get the fun, the pleasure that we seek in those times. I understand why. But that doesn't mean I approve of it. Regarding drugs, I was a curious young lady - still am, I think. If it were not for the people I travelled with, I would have probably tried some when I went to Amsterdam. I had the intention. I'm curious about the high, the euphoria they claimed those drugs can provide. Then maybe I would have liked it, and got addicted. Then maybe I would end up as a drug addict, rather than a drug dispenser - that is, if I didn't die from an overdose. So yes, those overdose kids could have well be me. 

So what saved me? Was it my friends? Undeniably your circle of friends, who you choose to hang out with will play a major role in your life. “Perumpamaan teman yang baik dengan yang buruk itu seperti penjual minyak wangi dan tukang besi. Berteman dengan penjual minyak wangi akan membuatmu harum karena kamu boleh membeli minyak wangi darinya atau sekurang-kurangnya mencium bau wanginya. Sementara berteman dengan tukang besi akan membakar badan dan bajumu atau kamu hanya akan mendapatkan bau tidak sedap.“ 

However, I think I owe most of it to Islam. To my faith. Alhamdulillah. If it were not for Islam, knowing my curiosity and lack of good judgement, I would probably have tried everything. Especially those that are not allowed or off limits. Now where would that get me? I don't dare to imagine. Islam is indeed the greatest blessing to mankind. Lucky we were born Muslims. 

Alhamdulillah.